Warren Washington Association for Mental Health

Table of Contents

One Mother’s Story of Mental Illness
Editor’s Note: On a trip around the internet a site was found where families share their stories of mental illness. The following abbreviated story is by a mother who encouraged others to bring her experience to anyone who could benefit by it. This struck us as significant because too often people are hesitant to reveal mental illness in their family or themselves. At AMH we believe that stories about real human beings will help dissolve some of the barriers caused by stigma. If you have a story you would like to share, please contact us. As you will notice, this mother did not sign her name. You can do the same.

Michael was fine until 2 months when he began having sudden high fevers, nausea and vomiting. Specialists finally determined that he had an undeveloped stomach valve. We were told to bear with it—as he grew, the valve would eventually mature and get better. Michael was put on the drug Reglan to help with the vomiting. After a few weeks, I noticed he was jerking his shoulders upward and the drug was immediately stopped. At seven, he had an episode so severe that he was rushed to the hospital. Doctors discovered an obstructed “horseshoe kidney” which caused the fever and vomiting. Following an operation, Michael ate everything in sight and became so physically active that we were basically dealing with a “new Michael.”

This is when his teachers and I began to suspect ADHD. His teachers reported that he literally “could not sit still” and was having trouble concentrating in class. He was tested for ADHD and put on Ritalin. Michael improved until about a year later when he began to retreat to the corner of a classroom. He sometimes complained that the voices were “bothering him”. We assumed (wrongly, we now know) that he was talking about the voices of his classmates. Michael would have attacks of rage, sometimes brought on by conflict—sometimes with no discernable trigger. He also began “ticcing.” We know that Ritalin wasn’t the cause of Michael’s tics, so I blamed myself for a while. Much later, when researching our family’s history, we found a history of tics and “odd behavior” on my husband’s side and OCD and depression on mine.

Since these problems seemed to be behavioral in nature, his teacher advised us to wait things out and we did for two years. During this time Michael went from a bright, happy little boy to a child I can only term “holy terror” - sullen, disrespectful, irritable, refusing to learn or participate in class and so on. His entire being seemed to be consumed by rage, depression, defiance and hopelessness and the tics became more severe. In his lucid times, he would cry, “Mom, Dad, I don’t know why I act this way. I need help.” Several types of therapy and medications were tried and failed. No one seemed willing to believe that Michael’s behavior was anything but stubborn willfulness or depression. Although no one ever said “poor parenting” to our face, we found a lot of literature with this assumption. I came out of school meetings feeling guilty and inadequate. Unfortunately, most were working under the standard assumption that “children can be badly behaved, but mental illness in children is rare.” And, we had no reason to believe otherwise.

At 12, Michael experienced a psychotic break and was hospitalized. It was a 10-day stay that changed all our lives because he was finally recognized as possibly Bi-Polar and Obsessive-Compulsive. He was placed on medication for these disorders and within 72 hours, he had “re-connected” with reality. His moods improved and stabilized somewhat, and we began to see the re-emergence of that bright, happy, hyperactive boy.

Today, our family is still working to overcome those “bad years.” The bad behavior patterns surely, but also the negative, knee-jerk reactions we had all developed. It helps a little that Michael has very little memory of 3rd through 5th grade. It turns out that it is easier for the school to see him as “Emotional-Behavior Disordered” than “Mentally Ill.” Every time Michael behaves badly, I have to explain to school staff, “Yes, Michael’s behavior was inappropriate, but it could be a manifestation of his mental illness.” This can be confusing at times, but it is always worthwhile to give effort into separating the behavior from the illness.

We just completed his IEP( individualized Educational Plan) It is 13 pages long and in it lies the foundation for rebuilding Michael socially and academically. I have recently, and very cautiously, begun to allow myself to hope for that bright and happy future I once envisioned. I can finally say that instead of seeing boulders in the road, I see only speed bumps and the occasional detour. I believe that EVERY child deserves an outcome like Michael’s! And to let a physical, neurological, biochemical or mental handicap stand in the way of that future would be a tragedy.

This site can be found at http://members.aol.com/_ht_a/DrgnKpr1/BPCAI.html or by searching “BiPolar Children and Teens. You do not have to subscribe to AOL.

Limiting Futures
The myth of the bad kid
SCENARIO: Six year old Jimmy is having trouble in school. As a first grader, he already has a reputation among the teachers as a “bad kid.” He spends most of his school day sitting in the corner or the principal’s office. With 30 other children in his class, the teacher has little time for Jimmy. He isn’t learning anything in the classroom, and he has trouble making friends.

We all have memories of the “bad kid” in our class—the child who was always in trouble and often alone. We tend to blame this kind of behavior on a lack of discipline or a bad home. We say the child was spoiled, abused, or “just trying to get attention.” But these labels are often misguided. Many of these children suffer from serious emotional problems that are not the fault of their caregivers or themselves.

Myths about children’s behavior make it easy to play the “blame game” instead of trying to help children like Jimmy. Often, in making assumptions, we “write off” some children. However, with understanding, attention and appropriate mental health services, many children can succeed—they can have friends, join in activities, and grow up to lead productive lives. To help children with emotional problems realize their potential, we must first learn the facts about the “bad kid.”

FACT: Children do not misbehave or fail in school just to get attention. Behavior problems can be symptoms of emotional, behavioral or mental disorders, rather than merely attention-seeking devices. These children can succeed in school with understanding, attention and appropriate mental health services.

FACT: Behavioral problems in child can be due to a combination of factors. Research shows that many factors contribute to children’s emotional problems including genetics, trauma and stress. While these problems are sometimes due to poor parenting and abuse, parents and families are more often a child’s greatest source of emotional support. Children’s emotional, behavioral and mental disorders affect millions of American families. An estimated 14 to 20 percent of all children have some type of mental health problem. Jimmy and the many others mislabeled as “bad kids” can use the support of their communities.

“The Myth of the Bad Kid” is reprinted from a publication of the Center for Mental Health Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, one of the Public Health Service agencies of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. For more information call 1-800-789-2647 or visit www.mentalhealth.org.